


Living is Harder

by sailorshepard



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Destroy Ending, F/M, Graphic injuries, Hurt/Comfort, Ripley Shepard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:13:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24957412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sailorshepard/pseuds/sailorshepard
Summary: Garrus struggles as he watches over Shepard after the destroy ending. It doesn’t get any better when she wakes up.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian, Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 1
Kudos: 16





	Living is Harder

**Author's Note:**

> Found this in my google drafts. I’m currently rePlaying the trilogy, and I’m almost finished with the third so I thought I’d finish this and submit it for the shits and giggles. There are probably some mistakes cause it was typed out on my phone

Garrus had sat by her side for months now and there were no signs of life in this empty shell beside him except for the beeps coming from the heart monitor. Proof that she was alive, or at least that her cybernetic heart was still pumping red blood through her veins. It's odd beats becoming his lullaby as he rested his head by her hand. He used to expect to be woken up by a soft hand running down his fringe, but he had never been an optimist. Now he only expected the long low tone of the monitor that told him that she had died. Already he had heard it once or twice never for long before the doctors or her cybernetics revived her. He'd have to thank what was left of Cerberus later. He was running out of fingers to count the amount of times she had died and come back now. He almost wished she would die just so that it could be over, she could be at peace and he could start the grieving process, though he doubted he'd ever get over her. He was a one human kind of man  
The relays were mostly repaired now and civilizations are starting to reach out to each other again. He and the rest of the Normandy crew had arrived a few of Earth’s months ago, Shepard had been in this bed close to six of them, he was told. The Geth had survived the war only barely because of the large amount of back ups they had created, and were helping with mostly with the reconstruction of the relays and large scale communications. It turns out that they had studied the relays and learned some things from Sovereign when the heretics, he remembered legion calling them that, returned to the Geth. EDI hadn’t been so lucky. She was still EDI, her body at least but not near as self aware. Her personality a shell of what it once was, she operated with as much power as a vi. Joker mourned her loss but worked to regain her. Much like Garrus, Joker sat in a chair useless as people more qualified than him worked on his girlfriend with little hope.  
Joker had visited once. They made small talk and light jokes, trying not to feel the massive weight that sat heavey on both of their hearts. The others visited as well. Tali stopped by as often as she could, but she was too busy dealing with the Geth and reinhabiting Rannoch that her visits were far and few between but they video chatted when she couldn't be there in person. Ashley had dropped by and brought poetry books, Liara chattered about the rebuilding efforts. Miranda was here most assisting the doctors and nurses. She had invested too much into Shepard's life. He doubted she'd give up now, and when she wasn't here he knew she watched over Shepard like a hawk, like she did her little sister Orianna. 

Miranda was here now pacing back forth, her lips pursed as she thought on Shepard's condition. It seemed she could raise the woman back from the dead but not from the slumber that held her now. That was different though, she had had all the resources in the known universe at her fingertips and unlimited sums of money. Now they were scraping by with what they had. Shepard wasn't the only broken body in this hospital, and it was agreed that she would hate it if they put the others' needs aside just for her. Garrus wished they could though.  
Garrus stared at the heart beat monitor, his chin resting on his hands. As he did the heart beat sped faster and faster. Miranda and Garrus both jumped into action. Doctors flooded the room and Garrus was washed out into the hall as he watched in silent useless horror as they worked to save her. 

He watched her gasp for air, struggling to breath around the tube going down her throat, her cybernetics suddenly kicking into overdrive with her brain awake and functioning again. It was the first sound he’d heard from her in months and it was absolutely terrifying. She tried to pull out the the iv in her arm and sit up and stand on her own, but with a missing leg and a few lesser fingers, her balance was off. The doctors managed to push her down and they pushed a sedative into her veins. Her eyes found him, and they begged for help as she was held down. 

He rushed to her nudging a salarian nurse out of the way. "Ripley." She reached out to grab his hand. He intertwined his fingers with hers, she was down a few now, so they matched. “I’m here, you're safe.” The beats evened out slightly as the drugs started to take effect.  
"The god child, he, he ... I had to choose. The Geth, Anderson, EDI." She tried to explain to him holding on desperately to his hand.  
"Hey now." Garrus soothed. "You're alive the reapers are gone." He held her and soothed her as the doctors took a step back. His eyes flitted towards Miranda, both shocked and terrified at her words. The doctors must think she’s gone crazy, but they’d both seen crazier things in the galaxy with her, so they would hear her out first. 

When things were calm again he turned her over to them. Still trying to ramble out a few words that went ignored until they died out. The doctors looked over her and checked her vitals while Garrus stood back and scanned the injuries that he could see. She had a large burn wound that took up half her body, this had also taken her arm with it. Turning it into nothing more than a hunk of charcoal. He assumed it was from the reaper blast that had knocked her out. She was missing a leg as well. It had been infected and grossly damaged from shrapnel and other debris. They had said there was no hope for it when they removed it with her arm. Her hair was finally growing back. It had been burned away and they had to shave off the rest to attend to her head wounds. Now it was a cropped close to her head, like he'd seen many young human boys wear it. He didn't even count the flurry of new scratches and scars she had earned in that final battle that were healing nicely in her six months asleep. All in all she looked like a rag doll stitched haphazardly back together. It was a wonder that she had ever made it this far but now that she had woken they could start all the major reconstruction. 

It was not long before the doctors left, muttering about head trauma and brain damage as they scuttered away. It would mean more testing for her. Miranda walked up to the bed, taking her post at Shepard’s other side. 

“What she said, what could it mean?” She almost sounded worried, like Shepard woke up with another warning. They knew better, they had both seen the red light that had burst from the Crucible, taking down any reaper in its path as it spanned the Galaxy. 

Garrus shook his head. Sitting down in his chair and taking Shepherd's hand again. “I really, don’t know.” He said with a sigh. 

Shepard words filled their minds as they waited for her to wake again and it was several days later when Shepard finally woke again, thankfully this time with no theatrics.He was alerted when his hand was suddenly caught in a tight grip and he watched as her face scrunched up. It almost looked like she was having a nightmare, and he was ready when she woke up again. He was the first thing she saw, and the rise and fall of the monitor wasn’t enough to call the doctors in. 

“Garrus, the reapers?” She asked quickly, her voice horse and quiet. 

“They’re gone Shepard, whatever you did it worked. Not long after you disappeared in the beam, there was this burst of red light, it killed all the reapers and knocked Normandy out of the sky.” He answered, and watched her shoulders relax at the news. 

“The crew.” 

“Very few casualties, Adam didn’t make it...and EDI…” 

“She’s gone isn’t she, disabled, and the Geth.” She cut him off. Garrus frowned, how could she have known that EDI and the Geth had been knocked off line. He remembered her saying something about them when she first woke up. 

She put her face in what was left of her hands and sighed. Then she explained everything that had happened to her after she left him on the Normandy. It was a hard to swallow pill, but Garrus and learned to never mistrust Ripley. Especially after everything they went through with the Leviathan. 

He put his hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. “You did the best you could Shepard, I know it’s hard when it comes down to do the cold calculus of war, but the entire Galaxy have you to thank for their lives, and EDI and the Geth, well we haven’t lost hope.” She gave him a weak smile and then surveyed what was left of her body. She slumped in her bed. He knew it would only get harder from here, but she’d gotten over the first big hump. She was alive, right now that was all that mattered to him. 

“ Why am I here, Garrus, I don’t understand.” The resignation in her voice shocked him. 

“In the hospital?” He asked. He didn’t understand,d or maybe he just didn’t want to. 

“No, why am I here,” she gestured to herself, and he knew things were much worse than he had imagined if Shepard had really given up. “I didn’t think this was one I was gonna come back from. I mean,” she rubbed the fluff on her head that was now her hair. “ We’ve been through our fair share of suicide missions but when I said goodbye to you, I thought.” He cut her off taking her hand in both of his and touching his mouth plate to it in a simulation of a kiss. 

“Remember what we talked about before the final push.” He asked her. 

“Turban human babies? Thinking about baby making already Vakarian?” She joked with him, and he knew she wasn’t fully lost. 

He let out a half chuckle. “ Well that’s part of it, but. It goes both ways Shepard. There’s no Vakarian without Shepard okay. I still need you Shepard. It’s gonna be hard, but we’ll make it to the other side, and we’ll retire on the beach, and maybe have a few babies.” 

She gave him a small laugh and looked at their fingers laced together. 

“Or there are a few kids who need families after all this, who’d be glad to call the Savior of the Galaxy their mommy.” She smiled up at him, something so soft and vulnerable, it was rare for even him to see. 

“I love you Garrus Vakarian.”


End file.
